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+--- Thread: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. (/showthread.php?tid=1982)
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Pedigree - 08-05-2019
Telling people how to feel in general is not cool. Nobody has to forgive you, especially if you have done nothing to show them you've changed. How people present their grudges in the community is another thing though.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Mario - 08-05-2019
(08-05-2019, 08:32 PM)Pedigree Wrote: Telling people how to feel in general is not cool. Nobody has to forgive you, especially if you have done nothing to show them you've changed. How people present their grudges in the community is another thing though.
Yeah that's totally fair. It's hard to deal with sometimes though because sometimes you really want that horse to drink but you gotta remember you can't make it drink, you can only lead it to the water
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - VinnyVideo - 08-05-2019
MFGG is a community full of people. When people interact, stuff happens. A lot of the time, good things happen! Friendships grow. People make and do fun things together. They learn and share knowledge. But sometimes conflict happens - and occasionally it gets ugly.
If you've been the receiving end of previous not-niceness, I'm sorry you had to go through that. However, people can change - and often they change for the better! Putting aside old grudges and making amends is a very good idea - for the benefit of the community and for the benefit of yourself.
Ultimately, grudges are futile: They hurt the person holding them, not the target of them.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - HeroSamurai - 08-05-2019
I remember butting heads with people in this very thread way back in the day in threads similar to this one. Ahh the memories..
It's all good now I'd hope, because even I was taken aback by some of the members that returned here after over a decade.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Arrietty - 08-06-2019
(08-05-2019, 08:29 PM)Mario Wrote: I apologize for my post, I realize that there are a lot of justified grudges. For example, I won't listen to a damn thing Vert says becuase they've stalked, harassed and suicide baited people in this community within the past year or so. So I can totally understand that there's plenty of vile people out there and things you just don't hear about out in the open.
However, some people have beefs I can't really respect, like they got criticized by someone once. Being criticized is good for you, friends. If you surround yourself only with yes men, you're not going to grow. The people willing to stand up to you and risk your friendship are the ones you want to keep around.
While the people we were venting about don't fit the description, the last paragraph is something I can agree with. People who criticize our behavior are fine. And I don't think anyone else here would disagree with that, I think.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Flygon - 08-06-2019
I try my best to hold no grudges. And for many people here, I would hold none. Nobody here immediately comes to mind as someone that I, personally, hold a grudge against.
But there is individuals whom I feel their behavior is disagreeable, and have not improved themselves over time. Both here, and in other communities.
For MFGG, by and large, a lot of people have chilled the hell out, and that is something I can appreciate.
I shall hope that MFGG does not immolate again in old disputes.
The gaping wounds may never fully heal, but I shall trust we will approach these matters like adults, not the - literal - children we once were.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - OddieTheRock - 08-06-2019
So.. yikes..
I wasn't expecting to see this much drama from the past that couldn't be forgiven.
I guess that we just can't really do anything about it.
Other than that, I'm speechless...
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Vert - 08-06-2019
(08-06-2019, 11:19 AM)Ostrich101 Wrote: So.. yikes..Yeah. It's hard to really get a feel for just how deep the rabbit hole here can go without having been a part of it yourself. I've known my share of members who still refuse to interact with the community (like Raikyo or Miaxis) because of what went down here.
I wasn't expecting to see this much drama from the past that couldn't be forgiven.
I guess that we just can't really do anything about it.
Other than that, I'm speechless...
Thanks for trying though.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Fourside Seven - 08-06-2019
(08-06-2019, 11:19 AM)Ostrich101 Wrote: So.. yikes..
I wasn't expecting to see this much drama from the past that couldn't be forgiven.
I guess that we just can't really do anything about it.
Other than that, I'm speechless...
Like I said, I understand you meant well and to piggyback on what Kesha said, if you're holding a grudge against someone because they criticized you one time, that's just petty. When I first joined MFGG, I posted a few things I was working on and several members of the forums criticized them or gave what seemed like overly harsh criticism without me fully understanding what their intention was. If I still had a chip on my shoulder over it today, that'd be silly.
But while most of the people responsible for the drama here years ago are more or less gone, the things they did still very deeply affect some of us. You didn't know and I can respect that.
But that's the reality of the situation.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Arrietty - 08-06-2019
(08-06-2019, 11:19 AM)Ostrich101 Wrote: So.. yikes..
I wasn't expecting to see this much drama from the past that couldn't be forgiven.
I guess that we just can't really do anything about it.
Other than that, I'm speechless...
It's all good <3 Thank you for trying to look out for us, even if you didn't know.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - DavidCaruso - 08-06-2019
If someone still has a grudge over something that went down here, ten years later, that must have been some pretty bad s***, no? Old MFGG was a "cesspool of adolescent rage", as Glukom once put it, so anything which stands out must have been truly heinous (like the stuff Ainsworth recounted).
I'm trying to think of members who I have a grudge against, but I'm drawing a blank. I remember some people who I really didn't like, but I don't remember why (except for a certain guy named after Naruto, who I had a kind of weird dynamic with). I remember hating some of the tSR peeps back in the day, because of events that transpired in a truly toxic political thread, but the Discourse has gotten so much worse that I now look back on the memory fondly.
(If anyone wants to talk anything out, please PM me. I wasn't self-aware as a teen, and I'm only slightly better now, so I really would have no idea. I would be a bit surprised, since I tried very hard to fit in at all times, but maybe that's why.)
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - DJ Yoshiman - 08-07-2019
(08-06-2019, 11:22 PM)DavidCaruso Wrote: If someone still has a grudge over something that went down here, ten years later, that must have been some pretty bad s***, no? Old MFGG was a "cesspool of adolescent rage", as Glukom once put it, so anything which stands out must have been truly heinous (like the stuff Ainsworth recounted).Excuse me
I'm trying to think of members who I have a grudge against, but I'm drawing a blank. I remember some people who I really didn't like, but I don't remember why (except for a certain guy named after Naruto, who I had a kind of weird dynamic with). I remember hating some of the tSR peeps back in the day, because of events that transpired in a truly toxic political thread, but the Discourse has gotten so much worse that I now look back on the memory fondly.
(If anyone wants to talk anything out, please PM me. I wasn't self-aware as a teen, and I'm only slightly better now, so I really would have no idea. I would be a bit surprised, since I tried very hard to fit in at all times, but maybe that's why.)
Old MFGG was super chill with all of us being n00bs and we barely had enough members in the age range of adolescent, punk!
Young adult MFGG was a cesspool of adolescent rage. You rapscallions.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - DavidCaruso - 08-07-2019
I just got a burst of nostalgia from your post, believe it or not :P Yoshiman coming through to tell me how things were back in the day? This really does feel like "old MFGG".
(But a bit quieter.)
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Retriever II - 08-07-2019
(08-07-2019, 02:42 PM)DJ Yoshiman Wrote:(08-06-2019, 11:22 PM)DavidCaruso Wrote: If someone still has a grudge over something that went down here, ten years later, that must have been some pretty bad s***, no? Old MFGG was a "cesspool of adolescent rage", as Glukom once put it, so anything which stands out must have been truly heinous (like the stuff Ainsworth recounted).Excuse me
I'm trying to think of members who I have a grudge against, but I'm drawing a blank. I remember some people who I really didn't like, but I don't remember why (except for a certain guy named after Naruto, who I had a kind of weird dynamic with). I remember hating some of the tSR peeps back in the day, because of events that transpired in a truly toxic political thread, but the Discourse has gotten so much worse that I now look back on the memory fondly.
(If anyone wants to talk anything out, please PM me. I wasn't self-aware as a teen, and I'm only slightly better now, so I really would have no idea. I would be a bit surprised, since I tried very hard to fit in at all times, but maybe that's why.)
Old MFGG was super chill with all of us being n00bs and we barely had enough members in the age range of adolescent, punk!
Young adult MFGG was a cesspool of adolescent rage. You rapscallions.
So how about the middle adult MFGG.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - DJ Yoshiman - 08-07-2019
(08-07-2019, 10:49 PM)Retriever II Wrote:They usually smarten up and don't do a lot to shake things during that age, so that was just an "alright" stage.(08-07-2019, 02:42 PM)DJ Yoshiman Wrote:(08-06-2019, 11:22 PM)DavidCaruso Wrote: If someone still has a grudge over something that went down here, ten years later, that must have been some pretty bad s***, no? Old MFGG was a "cesspool of adolescent rage", as Glukom once put it, so anything which stands out must have been truly heinous (like the stuff Ainsworth recounted).Excuse me
I'm trying to think of members who I have a grudge against, but I'm drawing a blank. I remember some people who I really didn't like, but I don't remember why (except for a certain guy named after Naruto, who I had a kind of weird dynamic with). I remember hating some of the tSR peeps back in the day, because of events that transpired in a truly toxic political thread, but the Discourse has gotten so much worse that I now look back on the memory fondly.
(If anyone wants to talk anything out, please PM me. I wasn't self-aware as a teen, and I'm only slightly better now, so I really would have no idea. I would be a bit surprised, since I tried very hard to fit in at all times, but maybe that's why.)
Old MFGG was super chill with all of us being n00bs and we barely had enough members in the age range of adolescent, punk!
Young adult MFGG was a cesspool of adolescent rage. You rapscallions.
So how about the middle adult MFGG.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Daisy - 08-11-2019
Easier said than done. Reading the comments I do see the scars as one reason why but another is that some, who may not be scarred or even involved, might still use this against others because let's face it, people are dicks, no matter how much the user has reformed from their old ways. I think it's better to at least keep the grudge-bearing off the site and have these matters dealt with elsewhere because I am sure as hell not the only one who is sick to bloody death of users complaining about others, whether I agree with it or not.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Evan.F - 08-15-2019
I'm relatively new here! I don't have grudges yet
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - GothGirlGangBlasterMaster - 08-15-2019
(08-15-2019, 05:23 PM)Evan.F Wrote: I'm relatively new here! I don't have grudges yet
i think we should all try to be more like evan. F.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - EDGE - 08-15-2019
I don't have a problem with people having grudges and holding on to the past.
However, it does seem mighty ironic that must of those who are "victims" keep bringing up the past when the other people involved aren't even around.
If you are still being harassed here then let the staff know and it will most likely be taken care of.
If you bring past and outside drama then I don't know what kind of reaction or help you expect?
From what I remember, this is a Mario Fan Website/Forum with what it's mostly a friendly community but we are not therapists or a professional support group.
If it's that bad that it affects your life so much, PLEASE don't come to a Mario Fan forum for help or to air it out.
I'm saying this in the most straight forward way I can, seek help before it's too late. PLEASE.
RE: People, it's time that we stop holding grudges against each other. - Fourside Seven - 08-15-2019
(08-15-2019, 06:45 PM)EDGE Wrote: I don't have a problem with people having grudges and holding on to the past.And just as unhelpful is this narrative of "get over it or don't come to MFGG" that seems to have been at the forefront of how this community has worked for years. The people who come here have every right to feel comfortable, safe, and free to take part in everything it has to offer, so when an initiative to try and bring back LITERALLY EVERY MEMBER of the forum's previous generations, including members who have been known by a large number of people both inside and outside of the community to be insanely toxic, people are bound to have a reaction to it.
However, it does seem mighty ironic that must of those who are "victims" keep bringing up the past when the other people involved aren't even around.
If you are still being harassed here then let the staff know and it will most likely be taken care of.
If you bring past and outside drama then I don't know what kind of reaction or help you expect?
From what I remember, this is a Mario Fan Website/Forum with what it's mostly a friendly community but we are not therapists or a professional support group.
If it's that bad that it affects your life so much, PLEASE don't come to a Mario Fan forum for help or to air it out.
I'm saying this in the most straight forward way I can, seek help before it's too late. PLEASE.
I know those air quotes were largely meant for me because of my posts in the other thread and it's cool you might think I'm blowing things out of proportion. If any of these people were to ever return, I'm not above being civil to them for the benefit of peace on the forums but it's not something they are owed or have rightfully earned.