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+--- Thread: An Apology (/showthread.php?tid=1567)
An Apology - SonicKade2048 - 01-02-2019
Alright, I think now's a good time to get this crap off my chest. I can't keep hiding myself in the shadows like a wimp just because I get told I'm wrong.
I'm sorry for saying the wrong things at the wrong time, but sometimes I can't think of anything better to say. I can't figure out what to do or say in a given situation like this. Yes, I feel terrible for Yoshin since she's in the hospital, and even though I was never suppose to be involved in the first place and I CHOSE to be involved, I wanted to do my best to help the situation get better, not worse. I feel like an idiot for trying to get into a conversation that never involved me all because I wanted to be useful. I try and I try to help people in their lives, but it just makes things worse. And I get it, I can't always be involved, and I'm sorry I ever had to get into these kinds of problems at all. All I wanted out of MFGG was a community to share my Mario experience and likings, but I never, NEVER expected for it to turn out like this. Stir being banned, Yoshin being in a bad condition, staff stepping down, even VITIMAN leaving... I just can't handle this.
Again, even if I'm not supposed to be in these conversations, all I want to do is help people in my life. I like being helpful, I like being USEFUL, but when I get turned against, that's when I don't like it anymore. If people want to attack me in any sort of way without giving my positive feedback, then that's when I start screwing up and going into self-pity, thinking I'm worthless. I know I'm not, but I'm sensitive to the point where the slightest bad comment can make a huge impact on myself. It's not anyone's fault but my own, and I will be mature and take full blame on that end.
If I'm missing the point, then whatever, I tried to get across to you all. I'm sorry I joined MFGG at all if all I do is make people upset, or even mad at me. I'm sorry for saying the wrong things at the wrong time. I'm sorry for de-railing conversations.
I'm sorry that I can't get people to help me when I need it. I guess I'm just an attention seeker after all.
RE: An Apology - SonicZetrex - 01-02-2019
Even though I only got the various parts that's been going on in this community, I'm pretty sure everyone will forgive you.
Heck, even the spites of my own, I'm sure you did some things you thought that had to be done. So the effort you put into shouldn't be wasted with thoughts that made you believe you're not that useful.
I believe that you did it to make things better and I know you didn't mean to make others upset.
And within my belief, everything should be resolved soon.
RE: An Apology - Damarioman - 01-02-2019
Oh come now, you're far from worthless.
Now I don't know the specifics, but if you acted on the intention to try and make things better, then you have no reason to feel worthless. Everyone has had a moment where they said the wrong thing at the wrong time or bud in in situations that didn't involve themselves. These things happen and hindsight is 20/20. There's no sense in beating yourself up about this.
I have a feeling that this will all blow over in due time.
RE: An Apology - SonicKade2048 - 01-02-2019
Thank you, sincerely. There's been a few happenings in the MFGG Discord that have gotten under my skin, and I keep thinking most of it is my fault. I have few goals for myself to improve my life this year, and a couple other factors as well.
Really, thanks.
RE: An Apology - VinnyVideo - 01-02-2019
Don't beat yourself up over times when you said something awkward or wrong - everyone says things that don't come out quite right. This is especially true considering we've all been under more stress and pressure lately. It's good to learn from your mistakes, but try not to dwell on them. I think you're a good-hearted person who's trying to improve, and remember that there's lots of people here who are cheering you on!
RE: An Apology - Yakibomb - 01-03-2019
Hey KirbyLover2048, I hope you don't mind if I chime in as an outsider. I admire you're willing to even be pro-active in this, even though in my own hindsight of what you're apologizing for is uh, I don't have much. But I'm not making that the point of this post to you.
Let this post to be a reflective moment for you. I know that wherever there is suffering, there is a silver-lining--Forgiveness, compassion, even gratitude for the situations that happened. The only thing you can do is to make it better the next time, is in the moment that comes to you.
I don't know what you've done, but I can definitely relate to how you feel. I uh, gathered this from what you've said: When you get involved in a conversation, you feel like you're instigating things, maybe even escalating when tensions are high. You want to be apart of a community so much because you care so much. You wouldn't have it any other way, no matter how old you grow or much time passes by. There is more to that story but um, that's what I've gathered.
I hope this post can help you somehow. I don't want to tell you what to do or how to do something, because nobody can tell you what to do, no matter how hard they try. You gotta figure that out yourself because that's the whole point of self-discovery.
EDIT: And I just want to be super-crystal-clear: You're a good person. I have nothing to hold against you. And my post might seem like I'm trying to "fix" something--It's not. It is aimed toward healing through self-reflection, to improve your self and to become your best self--Which is anything you want to be. I'm not trying to confuse you, I'm just trying to... help.
Chin up, and cheer up!
It might be a Mario community, but we're people, too. Those things make mistakes!