fake bible quotes

[strabiri]

The objective of this thread is to make a bible quote that sounds real but is fake. I'll start:

7 And God sayeth to Adam, "Man shalt laugh when presented the number sixty-nine", and it was so.

[Vert]

Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they shall inherit the earth.

[bearofsquares]

12 As Noah held onto the planks for which his ark would be built with, God sayeth to him in all his glory, "i enjoy browsing the internet forum known as MFGG"

waiting for the next ye olde mfgg jam

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deviantart - instagram - youtube

[strabiri]

8 "And so," sayeth God, "I shalt partake in intercourse with my wife. No, no, of course we're married. I mean, it'd be a sin to do that without being married, right? I mean, I'm not saying it should be a sin, because, hell, it's fun, but like, people would definitely abuse it. You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe we should remove that from the sin list. Wait-wait, no, Jesus, put the paper down I don't think we should. No- no we definitely could. But what I'm saying is that maybe we shouldn't. I mean, it'd make a lot of people happy for sure, so could that one about the swearing, but maybe they don't need it just yet. Eh- for the hell of it. You died for their sins anyway, right?"
"What in Satan's name are you even talking about?" stated Jesus

[Zae Eildus]

"Jesus rose his bread in 3 days".

[Anamaria17]

I stumbled upon this thread and I gotta say, it's hilarious! Even though it's three years old, it still got me laughing. As for the fake Bible quote you shared, that's pure gold! I mean, who wouldn't want to laugh at the number sixty-nine, am I right? LOL!