12-14-2017, 05:22 PM
Citizens of the US and of the world have taken to Twitter to speak out about the issue of Net Neutrality. MFGG The Onion is here to report the best of the best, straight to you.
Interesting take! If they repeal Net Neutrality, just cancel your Internet and get a VPN instead! In fact, why don't we all do that right now?
Real talk here, guys. If the FCC shuts down the Internet like they promised, how will this person do their school work? The pencil industry, as well as Big Paper, were all shut down years ago. You'll have to hand your teacher your laptop so they can read your Word document then give it back to you!
Luckily, there were some Twitter citizens -- or, Twitizens -- there to commiserate:
Alas! Ajit Pai vows to make good on his dastardly plan of downgrading wifi routers at every school in the US.
Not all Tweeters feel this way though...
The solution to your school problem? Go to school, of course! Clearly we have a true patriot here -- one who knows all of the clear inherent problems with stopping corporate greed from limiting access to free information.
The Internet is being ripped from your hands by government bureaucracy, you say? The free market of ideas as we know it is being put to an end? Hah. Silly snowflake. Back in my day, we hit each other with sticks and died of pneumonia every winter.
Perhaps the most sobering perspective so far. Not only is the entire Internet going to cease to exist, but schools the world 'round will be shutting their doors. Goodbye to free public education!
This person gets it. Net Neutrality is a partisan liberal effort to give the government more control over your life. Comcast totally never throttled torrents, and AT&T has never blocked anyone from accessing any information ever! Why trust the government, when you can trust the corporations who have a monopoly over you?
And last but not least...
Aha! We've blown the lid off it all! The whole thing is a liberal ploy to elect Barack Obama for a third term so he can force you to switch to a different Internet than the one you're used to! Of course! It has nothing to do with maintaining the uncontroversial neutrality of access to information via one of the greatest inventions in all of human history.
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This has been a special report by MFGG The Onion, your finest news source.
Interesting take! If they repeal Net Neutrality, just cancel your Internet and get a VPN instead! In fact, why don't we all do that right now?
Real talk here, guys. If the FCC shuts down the Internet like they promised, how will this person do their school work? The pencil industry, as well as Big Paper, were all shut down years ago. You'll have to hand your teacher your laptop so they can read your Word document then give it back to you!
Luckily, there were some Twitter citizens -- or, Twitizens -- there to commiserate:
Alas! Ajit Pai vows to make good on his dastardly plan of downgrading wifi routers at every school in the US.
Not all Tweeters feel this way though...
The solution to your school problem? Go to school, of course! Clearly we have a true patriot here -- one who knows all of the clear inherent problems with stopping corporate greed from limiting access to free information.
The Internet is being ripped from your hands by government bureaucracy, you say? The free market of ideas as we know it is being put to an end? Hah. Silly snowflake. Back in my day, we hit each other with sticks and died of pneumonia every winter.
Perhaps the most sobering perspective so far. Not only is the entire Internet going to cease to exist, but schools the world 'round will be shutting their doors. Goodbye to free public education!
This person gets it. Net Neutrality is a partisan liberal effort to give the government more control over your life. Comcast totally never throttled torrents, and AT&T has never blocked anyone from accessing any information ever! Why trust the government, when you can trust the corporations who have a monopoly over you?
And last but not least...
Aha! We've blown the lid off it all! The whole thing is a liberal ploy to elect Barack Obama for a third term so he can force you to switch to a different Internet than the one you're used to! Of course! It has nothing to do with maintaining the uncontroversial neutrality of access to information via one of the greatest inventions in all of human history.
---
This has been a special report by MFGG The Onion, your finest news source.