01-13-2018, 01:53 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2018, 01:58 AM by Soda Popinski.)
*hick* Geez guys. I don't think I've ever played a more cryptic game in my entire life *hick*.
This hylian old man sure likes confusing the crap out of me! "EASTMOST PENNINSULA IS THE SECRET" *hick* "A SECRET IS IN THE TREE AT THE DEAD END" *hick* "SECRET POWER IS SAID TO BE IN THE ARROW"?! *hick* WHAT THE HECK, OLD MAN! CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME SOME USEFUL ADVICE DARN IT
?!
SERIOUSLY! *hick* WHY ARE HYLIAN PEOPLE SO STUPID?! *hick* When this old man said "DODONGO DISLIKES SMOKE" I literally looked for a pack of cigars aaaaaaaaaaaall over Hyrule and I DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING!! *hick* You'd think Hylian merchants would sell some cigars right?! OF COURSE THEY WOULD! *hick* Cigars are sold EVERYWHERE in the world! *hick* BUT NOOOOOOO! HYLIAN PEOPLE LIKE BEING HEALTHY! HYLIAN PEOPLE WON'T SMOKE! *hick*. I bet Dodongo loved smoking daily in the past! *hick* But then one day THIS FRIGGIN' OLD MAN showed up and told him "TOBACCO HAS CERTAIN KINDS OF CANCER". In fact, I bet he said it to EVERYONE in Hyrule and now no merchant sells any stupid cigars because they think they'll have CANCER, now won't they?!
*hick* I DON'T CARE OLD MAN! *hick* I JUST WANT TO SMOKE! *hick* WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SMOKE?! *hick*.
So then I said "Maybe Dodongo would prefer to drink Soda instead!" and I went aaaaaaaaaall over Hyrule looking for a bottle of soda, but guess what? *hick* NO SODA EITHER! *hick* NOT EVEN FROM THE "POP" ONE?! WHY OLD MAN?! *hick* WHY WOULD YOU TELL THE HYLIAN PEOPLE THAT SODA IS BAD?! SODA IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD !!! *hick*.
So that's when I said "If you can't beat them, JOIN THEM!", and started a Soda free diet. But my body felt TERRIBLE within seconds so I started to drink soda AGAIN. After that I said "I'LL SHOW YOU YOU STUPID OLD MAN!" *hick* And started to bomb ALL the walls and burn ALL the trees in Hyrule until finding a bottle of Soda! *hick*. Eventually, I managed to find a secret passage to a small cave! I REALLY THOUGHT I FINALLY HAD FOUND A BOTTLE OF SODA THERE! *hick*.
But guess what happened...
? *hick*.
THE FRIGGIN' OLD MAN WAS THERE
!!! *hick* WHITE BEARD AND ALL! *hick* And you know what he did?! *hick* he said "PAY ME FOR THE DOOR REPAIR CHARGE" *hick* AND TOOK MY MONEY AWAY!!
...
ARE YOU SERIOUS OLD MAN?! *hick* FIRST YOU DESTROY ALL CIGARS AND SODA IN HYRULE *hick*, AND THEN YOU STEAL MY FRIGGIN' MONEY?! WHY OLD MAN?! WHY NO CIGARS?! WHY NO SODA?! WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE?! WHY ARE YOU SUCH A MONSTER??!! WHY?! WHY?! WHY ?! *hick*.
And that's when I said *hick* "SCREW THIS GAME!", went to the store, and asked for the old man with a red tunic who sold it to me for a REFUND *hick*. He said that no because "COINS LIKE TO BE IN CERTAIN KINDS OF CASH REGISTERS", and I got out *hick*.
So *hick*, have you guys beaten this evil game yet *hick*? I have no idea of why people like it so much
*hick*. One wonders why @HylianDev is even called like that. Is it because he doesn't like smoking nor drinking *hick*?
This hylian old man sure likes confusing the crap out of me! "EASTMOST PENNINSULA IS THE SECRET" *hick* "A SECRET IS IN THE TREE AT THE DEAD END" *hick* "SECRET POWER IS SAID TO BE IN THE ARROW"?! *hick* WHAT THE HECK, OLD MAN! CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME SOME USEFUL ADVICE DARN IT
?! SERIOUSLY! *hick* WHY ARE HYLIAN PEOPLE SO STUPID?! *hick* When this old man said "DODONGO DISLIKES SMOKE" I literally looked for a pack of cigars aaaaaaaaaaaall over Hyrule and I DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING!! *hick* You'd think Hylian merchants would sell some cigars right?! OF COURSE THEY WOULD! *hick* Cigars are sold EVERYWHERE in the world! *hick* BUT NOOOOOOO! HYLIAN PEOPLE LIKE BEING HEALTHY! HYLIAN PEOPLE WON'T SMOKE! *hick*. I bet Dodongo loved smoking daily in the past! *hick* But then one day THIS FRIGGIN' OLD MAN showed up and told him "TOBACCO HAS CERTAIN KINDS OF CANCER". In fact, I bet he said it to EVERYONE in Hyrule and now no merchant sells any stupid cigars because they think they'll have CANCER, now won't they?!
*hick* I DON'T CARE OLD MAN! *hick* I JUST WANT TO SMOKE! *hick* WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SMOKE?! *hick*.
So then I said "Maybe Dodongo would prefer to drink Soda instead!" and I went aaaaaaaaaall over Hyrule looking for a bottle of soda, but guess what? *hick* NO SODA EITHER! *hick* NOT EVEN FROM THE "POP" ONE?! WHY OLD MAN?! *hick* WHY WOULD YOU TELL THE HYLIAN PEOPLE THAT SODA IS BAD?! SODA IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD
!!! *hick*.So that's when I said "If you can't beat them, JOIN THEM!", and started a Soda free diet. But my body felt TERRIBLE within seconds so I started to drink soda AGAIN. After that I said "I'LL SHOW YOU YOU STUPID OLD MAN!" *hick* And started to bomb ALL the walls and burn ALL the trees in Hyrule until finding a bottle of Soda! *hick*. Eventually, I managed to find a secret passage to a small cave! I REALLY THOUGHT I FINALLY HAD FOUND A BOTTLE OF SODA THERE! *hick*.
But guess what happened...
? *hick*.THE FRIGGIN' OLD MAN WAS THERE
!!! *hick* WHITE BEARD AND ALL! *hick* And you know what he did?! *hick* he said "PAY ME FOR THE DOOR REPAIR CHARGE" *hick* AND TOOK MY MONEY AWAY!! ...
ARE YOU SERIOUS OLD MAN?! *hick* FIRST YOU DESTROY ALL CIGARS AND SODA IN HYRULE *hick*, AND THEN YOU STEAL MY FRIGGIN' MONEY?! WHY OLD MAN?! WHY NO CIGARS?! WHY NO SODA?! WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE?! WHY ARE YOU SUCH A MONSTER??!! WHY?! WHY?! WHY
?! *hick*.And that's when I said *hick* "SCREW THIS GAME!", went to the store, and asked for the old man with a red tunic who sold it to me for a REFUND *hick*. He said that no because "COINS LIKE TO BE IN CERTAIN KINDS OF CASH REGISTERS", and I got out *hick*.
So *hick*, have you guys beaten this evil game yet *hick*? I have no idea of why people like it so much
*hick*. One wonders why @HylianDev is even called like that. Is it because he doesn't like smoking nor drinking *hick*?