I HATE THIS GAME!

[Soda Popinski]

*hick* Geez guys. I don't think I've ever played a more cryptic game in my entire life *hick*.

This hylian old man sure likes confusing the crap out of me! "EASTMOST PENNINSULA IS THE SECRET" *hick* "A SECRET IS IN THE TREE AT THE DEAD END" *hick* "SECRET POWER IS SAID TO BE IN THE ARROW"?! *hick* WHAT THE HECK, OLD MAN! CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME SOME USEFUL ADVICE DARN IT ?!

SERIOUSLY! *hick* WHY ARE HYLIAN PEOPLE SO STUPID?! *hick* When this old man said "DODONGO DISLIKES SMOKE" I literally looked for a pack of cigars aaaaaaaaaaaall over Hyrule and I DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING!! *hick* You'd think Hylian merchants would sell some cigars right?! OF COURSE THEY WOULD! *hick* Cigars are sold EVERYWHERE in the world! *hick* BUT NOOOOOOO! HYLIAN PEOPLE LIKE BEING HEALTHY! HYLIAN PEOPLE WON'T SMOKE! *hick*. I bet Dodongo loved smoking daily in the past! *hick* But then one day THIS FRIGGIN' OLD MAN showed up and told him "TOBACCO HAS CERTAIN KINDS OF CANCER". In fact, I bet he said it to EVERYONE in Hyrule and now no merchant sells any stupid cigars because they think they'll have CANCER, now won't they?!



*hick* I DON'T CARE OLD MAN! *hick* I JUST WANT TO SMOKE! *hick* WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SMOKE?! *hick*.



So then I said "Maybe Dodongo would prefer to drink Soda instead!" and I went aaaaaaaaaall over Hyrule looking for a bottle of soda, but guess what? *hick* NO SODA EITHER! *hick* NOT EVEN FROM THE "POP" ONE?! WHY OLD MAN?! *hick* WHY WOULD YOU TELL THE HYLIAN PEOPLE THAT SODA IS BAD?! SODA IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD !!! *hick*.



So that's when I said "If you can't beat them, JOIN THEM!", and started a Soda free diet. But my body felt TERRIBLE within seconds so I started to drink soda AGAIN. After that I said "I'LL SHOW YOU YOU STUPID OLD MAN!" *hick* And started to bomb ALL the walls and burn ALL the trees in Hyrule until finding a bottle of Soda! *hick*. Eventually, I managed to find a secret passage to a small cave! I REALLY THOUGHT I FINALLY HAD FOUND A BOTTLE OF SODA THERE! *hick*.



But guess what happened... ? *hick*.




THE FRIGGIN' OLD MAN WAS THERE !!! *hick* WHITE BEARD AND ALL! *hick* And you know what he did?! *hick* he said "PAY ME FOR THE DOOR REPAIR CHARGE" *hick* AND TOOK MY MONEY AWAY!!



...



ARE YOU SERIOUS OLD MAN?! *hick* FIRST YOU DESTROY ALL CIGARS AND SODA IN HYRULE *hick*, AND THEN YOU STEAL MY FRIGGIN' MONEY?! WHY OLD MAN?! WHY NO CIGARS?! WHY NO SODA?! WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE?! WHY ARE YOU SUCH A MONSTER??!! WHY?! WHY?! WHY ?! *hick*.


And that's when I said *hick* "SCREW THIS GAME!", went to the store, and asked for the old man with a red tunic who sold it to me for a REFUND *hick*. He said that no because "COINS LIKE TO BE IN CERTAIN KINDS OF CASH REGISTERS", and I got out *hick*.

So *hick*, have you guys beaten this evil game yet *hick*? I have no idea of why people like it so much *hick*. One wonders why @HylianDev is even called like that. Is it because he doesn't like smoking nor drinking *hick*?

[VinnyVideo]

Well, at least the Dodongos have been heeding the Surgeon General's warnings.

Course clear! You got a card.

[DustinVG]

EASTMOST PENINSULA IS THE SECRET

My Webs Site

join my discord join it join it right now i'm not gonna ask again

[Soda Popinski]

EASTMOST PENINSULA IS THE SECRET

*hick*YOUR MOM IS A SECRET!*hick*.



Like, seriously Dustinvgguy! *hick* WHY DO YOU LIKE TORTURING ME SO MUCH ?!*hick*.


Wait a second... Have you seen your avatar? *hick*. The red clothing *hick*, The black eyes! *hick*, THE JAPANESE LETTERS IN THE BACKGROUND SHOWING CRYPTIC ADVICE!


SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE !*hick*.

[Puddin]

[Soda Popinski]

What am I even reading?

*hick* You're reading a post *hick*.

[Saltman]

Angry video game popinski